The Letter Q
by mynamemattersnot
Summary: Picard and Q have switched bodies. Problem is finding out how to switch back.
1. Freaky Tuesday

**Author's Note: Thanks for the suggestion Ponybird21. I do not own Star Trek or the characters. They belong to Gene Rodenberry. Please read and review.**

Q woke up in a bed, at first, not knowing where he was. After a while, he discovered he was on the Enterprise. Why was he here? Why was he asleep? He didn't know, but he supposed that he could mess with the crew while he was here. Then he made another discovery to his horror. His hair was gone!

"What? How can I be bald?" Q panicked.

"Wait a minute my voice."

Then he made a sudden realization as he looked into a mirror.

"Oh my Q! I'm Picard!"

"Oh my, I can use this to at least sit in the captain's chair or better." Q mused to himself happily.

"Wait! What if this is permanent? And does this mean Picard is in my body? Was this the work of the continuum?"

"No more questions for right now. Let's have some fun."

 **(Star Trek. Star Trek)**

Picard opened his eyes and was immediately overwhelmed by how much he could see. In fact, all of his senses were heightened by at least ten times maybe more. He realized with a horror as he looked down at himself. He was in Q's judge costume.

"Q!" Picard shouted, but Q never showed himself.

Then Picard nearly had a nervous breakdown as he realized his voice was Q's.

"Q, what is the meaning of this? Q!"

No response.

"Dammit Q! I demand to get some answers!"

Suddenly, he was looking at himself or more accurately he was looking at himself but wasn't in his body.

"Q, are you there? In my body?" Picard asked impatiently.

"Yes, but I assure you this is no work of mine." Q replied slyly.

"How do we switch back?"

"Switch back? I'm not planning on it. First, I got to try out that captain's chair."

"Q, you better not-"

"I think I better. After all, they'll all think I'm you; so who's gonna stop me?"

Q pretending to be Picard did his best not to gloat. He didn't want to ruin his chance of sitting in the captain's chair. He sat in the chair without not one soul realizing it was him.

"Take us to the nearest plant. Warp twelve." Q ordered.

"Warp twelve?" Ruler asked confused.

Then Q realized he blew his chance of being captain. He sighed. Well, at least he got to try the chair.

"You got me, commander. It's me Q." Q admitted.

"Where's the captain? What did you do to him?"

"He's fine. He's currently in his quarters in my body."

"Why did you do this?"

"It wasn't me this time Will."

"I don't believe you!"

"You don't have to. What is, is. And I don't have the power to change it."

"You better find a way."

"I can't."

"Unacceptable!"

"Why don't we see the captain? I think he retains my powers. If so, he can change himself back."

They walked to Captain Picard's and went inside. The whole interior of the quarters was a jungle and Picard himself was now a dig.

"Q, stop playing around. Where's the captain?" Riker asked impatiently.

"I believe you're looking at him." Q said referring to the dog.

Picard growled at Q.

"Calm yourself, mon capitan, it's not my fault that you can't use my powers."

Picard barked bitterly. Q smiled.

"You are so much better as a dog." Q said clearly intertained.

Riker glared at Q, but Q didn't seem to care. This was just too much fun.

 **Author's Note: So was it entertaining? Did you laugh or smile? Did you enjoy it? Please tell me in a review and I will promise to write more when I can.**


	2. Dog Gone

**Author's Note: I'm back! Which means more stories and updates. Enjoy it! I don't own Star Trek or its characters.**

Picard whimpered in dog form.

"Tell him how to change back!" Riker ordered.

"I'm afraid it won't come easy. You see you have to want it, then think it, then feel it, and then just do it. I wish I could help but I'm not one of the continuum's Q trainers. He has to figure this out on his own." Q explained.

Suddenly, Picard was a Q and dog hybrid.

"Well at least he's getting closer."

Then, it started to snow.

"Looks like I spoke to soon. I hope we find a way out of this soon. I hate being old. But then it's worth it to play with the crew who don't know any better. Like Beverly! I should propose to Beverly!" Q exclaims excited.

"Wait Q!"

Riker tried to stop him but the door shut in front of him and locked him and Picard inside. His communicator was suddenly busted too as if some sort of Devine force was messing with him. It was going to be a long hard annoying day.

 **Author's Note: Short but sweet. Next chapter I promise will be a lot longer with all of Qs antics so I hope you are ready. 8D! Virtual cookies for all of my reviewers!**


	3. The Proposal

**Chapter Three: The Proposal:**

 **Author's Note: After a long wait I'm finally back on fanfiction so more fun! I don't own Star Trek or the characters. I just do this for fun and to make people laugh and smile. Enjoy the story! 8D!**

"Beverly, will you marry me?" Q as Picard asked.

"Have you lost your mind?!" Dr. Crusher asked.

"No, I'm hopelessly in love!"

Dr. Crusher slapped him in the face, "You have no right to joke around with my feelings, Jean Luc!"

"Damn, I would have thought you had good feelings for Jean Luc!"

Then Crusher realized what was going on, "Q, that isn't funny!"

"How'd you know it was me?"

"You're the only one who would mess with me like that! I should have known it was you from the start. Why don't you have your own appearance?"

"A little mix up happened; that's all."

"This looks to me like more than a little mix up."

"I don't know why. I don't know how, but me and Picard switched places. Picard is a Q with powers and I'm an old man."

"The captain isn't that old."

"Says you."

Q turned to leave.

"Wait, where are you going?"

"To try out my look with a grumpy Klingon."

"I wouldn't-"

Q left before she could finish protesting. Riker came in with a dog and Dr. Crusher pointed towards the direction Q went in. She somehow knew that Picard was now a dog and that they were looking for Q.

 **Author's Note: What did you think? Review and tell me please. I hope you liked it. More will come at some point.**


	4. Klingons

**Chapter Four: Klingons:**

 **Author's Note: Finally back for another chapter! Enjoy the read! 8D! I don't own Star Trek or its characters. Please read and review.**

Q found Worf doing a security sweep.

"Sir," Worf said as he passed by.

"Wait, Lieutenant I need you to do a favor for me." Q said trying not to laugh and smile.

"Of course, sir."

"Sing the Barbie girl song."

"Sir, may I speak frankly?"

"No you may not! Sing the song!"

"I'm a Barbie girl in a Barbie world. Life in plastic so fantastic! You can brush my hair and take me everywhere. Imagination! Life is your creation." Worf sang.

Q laughed, "I can't believe you actually sang it!"

Worf then realized what was going on, "Q?"

"The one and only." Q replied with pride.

Worf punched him hard in the face giving him a black eye and sending him to the ground.

Q over dramatized his pain laying on the ground and complaining.

"Damn Worf you can punch hard!" Q commented.

Worf then grabbed him and forced him up.

"What in the universe are you doing?"

"Taking you to the brig before you cause any more trouble."

"But I was just having fun! No hard feelings, right?"

Worf didn't respond but glared instead.

"I assume not." Q commented.

Worf practically dragged Q to the brig and forced him into a cell. He then began to search for the real Captain Picard and ran right into Riker and a dog.

 **Author's Note: So what happens now? Who knows? Craziness will insue! Hope you liked it! Please review! No flames please.**


	5. Who Let Picard Out?

**Chapter Five: Who Let Picard Out?**

 **Author's Note: Back! Back! Back! I'm on a roll! I don't own Star Trek or its characters.**

"What do you mean Picard is that animal?" Worf asked Riker.

"Short story is somehow Picard and Q switched bodies and Picard accidentally turned himself into a dog." Riker explained.

Worf looked confused.

"I wish I could explain it but I can't. What's important now is that we get Picard back to his own self."

"How?"

"I wish I knew."

 _"How did my body get a black eye?"_

Everyone except Q looked both surprised and confused.

"Look who finally learned to communicate. I'll give you a hint." Q said pointing to Worf.

"Sorry, sir, I lost my temper." Worf explained.

 _"Get Dr. Crusher here, lieutenant. And be careful not to loss your temper agian."_

"Aye, sir."

Dr. Crusher easily cured the black eye with twenty fourth century medicine. Q winked at Crusher and she glared back.

"Giving me the cold shoulder already, doctor? Women are such fickle creatures."

"You messed with me. You made me think you were the captain and then you proposed to me. I'm not some pawn in your game!"

Picard growled at Q, " _How could you do such a thing?"_

"Have you meet me?" Q controted.

If Picard could have facepalmed, he would have.

 _"How are we going to get out of this?"_

"I don't know. I want to though. Being old is no fun anymore and I think that everyone knows who I really am so I can't play anymore pranks. I miss my hair and my powers."

 _"Is this the work of the Continuum?"_

"I don't know, but I'm sure there are ways to find out. Unfortunately, it may not be that easy."

 _"Of course, what did you have in mind?"_

Q smiled.

 **Author's Note: So? Did you like it? Please no flames.**


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